You’re not ready for marriage

In 2002, I was very single and highly allergic to marriage, but I desperately wanted to experience fatherhood. At the time, I was living in Vancouver, BC, far away from my hometown of Montreal, QC. A man in Kitsilano organized weekly talks about marriage and dating, which I attended faithfully. Most of the speakers sounded uninspired, repeating the same advice: It takes commitment and compromise to make a relationship work. But one night, a professor of family therapy delivered a lively talk, brimming with counterintuitive ideas about relationships. During the Q&A, an audience member asked if he had heard of the book "Passionate Marriage" by Dr. David Schnarch. He replied, "Oh yes, he’s doing the most interesting thinking and writing in this area right now." The next morning, I purchased the book. Approximately a year later, I met the woman who would become my wife.

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